Guys who make me swear…..

I love my clients, I really do BUT……..some things really get my GOAT! And they require some serious venting!

1)Those guys who book one hour. But then say, (during mid session)….”It’s really hard, in fact it’s almost IMPOSSIBLE for me to get there in an hour. I recently saw “so and so” and I booked an hour with her, but we had so much fun I just kept going and going. I ended up staying TWO HOURS! Yeah, I have some stamina. The ladies love it.”

Hmmmm……Hey dear, if you book an hour, be respectful of my time and understand that you will only stay one hour. If you like to stay 2 hours, you must then BOOK 2 hours! :)And please do not make me ask you to leave. Be mindful of the time. Thanks.

2)Or those guys who think it’s polite to send a lengthy introductory email instead of going straight to my form and filling it out properly, first and foremost. In this industry, the most important thing to do BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE, is get verified. When a guy does this and follows the steps I ask him to follow, it shows respect and I love him. Much more so than an email with a “gentlemanly introduction”. Introductions mean NOTHING , zilch, ZERO without proper screening info.

Please always just follow my protocol. Please do not provide a fake name and no work info or no reference info (or boast about being “drug and disease free”) and expect me to see you. Im in a privileged position where I get to be super duper picky. 

3) How about those guys who say, “well Im paying you so……..” or “money talks–I don’t want to deal with screening”…

You know those guys who believe this myth that girls like me will do ANYTHING, see ANYONE, go ANYWHERE for MONEY. No….that’s simply not true. Just because I do what I do, does not mean that I do not have boundaries or standards or take my safety very seriously. I think folks who believe that crap watch too many crime shows! 

4) Or how about an email like this……”what do you charge per hour for sex?”

Ok… many things wrong with this shit. First of all, the OBVIOUS. Charging for sex is illegal you fucking moron. I do not sell sex. I charge for my time only. Even if we go have coffee or to a movie, my rate is the same! Second, no name, no NOTHING. It is cold and callous and RUDE and that is not how to contact a lady. Third, READ MY WEBSITE or the ad you found me on and do not ever ask me my rates. Fourth, contact me through my form only as stated clearly on all my ads and my website. Men who follow my simple instructions have my respect and are my priority. Those who don’t follow my instructions will be scolded….or, if they’re lucky, simply deleted. 🙂

5) When he says, “What is this? A fucking job interview? Im just trying to have some fun here!”

We can have some fun if I deem you worthy to bask in my presence….and you prove yourself worthy by respecting me and my process that ensures safety for both of us! 

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6)Mr Wonderful, you contacted ME! Double standard much??

And if you speak to me this way, you will have the privilege of being published in my blog!


I may continue to add to this list, but for today, these things really make me swear and throw things.




3 Responses to “Guys who make me swear…..”

  1. Katie

    Very good and to the point. Perfect in every way. Men do need to respect our time and what we need to feel safe. It’s so simple. If they don’t want to do that I’m sure they can find a provider out there who is not careful or engages in risky work behavior and is desperate. I mean I respect woman more who are thorough with this process. It shows they take pride in what they do for a living. Great article Hilary!!!

  2. Bill

    Haha, oh silly boys. Just follow the rules and everything will be fine.

    Read this again, and it’s still funny.
    Thanks, Hilary (:


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